How to priorities things in life?

“Between urgent things and important things, what should you do first?”

That is what my ex-boss once asked me before.

I don’t quite remember my answer. But I remember, he said, 

“You should do important things first so that the important things won’t become urgent”. 

Honestly, I didn’t understand it before.

But, after reading the first chapter of The Boron Letters, I found the answer. I realize the connection between both of them.

Boron Letters is a letter from a father, Gary Halbert, who was imprisoned at that time, wrote to his son, Bond. Gary told Bond to go jogging, walking, or do some exercise first thing in the morning. 

He wanted Bond to put his health first, at the same time to get things done early.

At the end of the letter, there are some comments about what is behind it. The father’s advice is based on the book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.

In a brief, everything in our life falls into four categories. Q1: Urgent and important. Q2: Urgent but not important. Q3: Not urgent, but important. Q4: Not urgent and not important.

	Important	Not Important
Urgent	Q1	Q3
Not Urgent	Q2	Q4

This is what the four categories look like.

                                          

Often times, we do Q1 and Q2 first. Then we’ll move on to Q4.

But do you know what is interesting about this?

We should prioritize Q3 first. Why?

Because if we manage to get Q3 settled first, then nothing can fall into Q1 and Q2.

Let’s say we wish to maintain our fitness. However, we are currently free of any disease. At the same time, we recognize the significance of our health. As a result, we’ve placed this healthy lifestyle in Q3. 

Then, one day, we fall sick. So, to recover, we need to either take medications or practice a healthy lifestyle. Then, the healthy lifestyle that we put in Q3 immediately goes to Q1. It is becoming important and urgent and the list in Q1 is becoming packed now.

Interesting, right?

In my case, I went to the dentist last week. The dentist advises me to have a tooth extraction. He said that sooner or later I would have to do it too because it would hurt later. So, I decided to do it at that time.

By that, I’m avoiding it falling into Q1. I don’t need to feel the pain before I get my treatment.

There are so many things that we can avoid or prevent before it falls to Q1 or Q2. But because of our lack of awareness, things will turn out badly because we didn’t want to focus on it.

Also, I have seen this one video on TikTok. The creator said, 

“We will have two kinds of regrets in life. First, regret not having self-discipline. Second, regret of missing a chance to do it”.

We are going to choose what kind of regret we want to face. So, before the regrets come, we better figure out which things fall into which place as soon as possible.

Public Speaking: Failure That I Never Learnt

I thought I will never fail horribly again. But, I was wrong.

There is one more thing that I got no confidence in. It was, speaking in English.

I can write well, listen well but when it comes to speaking, I do not know what got into me. I was so afraid to speak in English.

When in university, there is an English course. And we had to talk in front of other friends. It is called Oral Speaking.

Well, the combination of fear of public speaking and speaking in English is a perfect one. But this time, I can say it was better than before.

I finish my presentation. But, I don’t know if my friends understand what I am talking about. And to make it worse, my topic was so dry. It is about poverty. Who wants to hear that?

But, I was overwhelmed with a few of my senior. Although it is a boring topic, with me as a boring presenter, they were still listening and give a response. I still remember their face and perhaps will always remember.

What is my actual problem?

There is a huge gap between the school year and university year. Why can’t I perform better? What is really my problems?

I guess I am over-confident before the event, and my confidence is gone when the event is starting.

I did not prepare enough, did not practice enough.

But still, I wanted to do the public speaking again and again.

I become addicted to it although sometimes I failed.

But, who cares?

As long as I keep trying, I know that I can reach a place where I wanted. To be confident. To speak out. To let out my idea. To have a smooth flow on my idea. To deliver it so people listen, understand, and get excited over it.

What I learned is, to be a good public speaker, one must practice, prepare, and perform. But most important is practice. Practice and practice. Without practice, you have a higher percentage to failed, but with it, you will perform better than what you expect.

Practice till it looks like you are delivering your speech naturally. Practice till you forget that it was scripted.

The Fear of Public Speaking

I still remember when I in high school, I enter this one competition, I did not remember the name of that competition but what I still remember is, it involves speaking in public. There are two types, one you are allowed to bring the script but you have to present it in Arabic while the other one is normal public speaking using Bahasa but you cannot bring the script.

Guess what I choose?

The one without the script.

Me, a person who rarely speaks in front of the crowd, suddenly, voluntarily to join the competition and what worse is,

without a script.

The result?

Of course, I fail terribly.

With a stuttering voice, forgetting words I wanted to say, in front of a crowd who look at me like a loser (at least that was what I feel at that time), I ended my speech without delay.

People must be wondering, oh, believe me, I am too.

I know I lack confidence, rarely got into any competition especially those that involve speaking in public.

But, look at me. Hey, I am there, on the stage, in front of a lot of people, tried to do public speaking.

Joke on me.

But the thing is. Even I failed that day, I have this feeling. A feeling that hard to describe. It’s something between relieved and satisfied.

I don’t felt any regret.

Just ashamed. Well, who doesn’t right? After I humiliated myself in front of the public, surely I will feel embarrassed.

But, that’s it. That’s all. Only at that time. Only a few days after that.

Then I’m okay.

And wanted to try. Again.

And again.

I guess I will only felt regret if I don’t take the courage to enter the competition and standing in front of people.

I will proudly say that I am improving day by day.

I’m still nervous to talk in front of others, but when we are well prepared, it didn’t matter.

I lost words, still. But it did not freak me out like before.

Maybe my speech is not smooth, but I can deliver, I may say, almost perfectly. It is enough for me. But, I will still improving from time to time.

Aspire to be one of the Ted Talk speakers. Wish me best, please.

Job Hunting During Pandemic: Fresh Graduate vs Experienced People

The end.

Most fresh graduates right now, probably thought that they had met the end of their world. With what happened since early this year, and till now, the cure is still nowhere to be found, we meet the dead end.

Who would thought that this will happen? Surely, no one was prepared for it. The world economy comes to the lowest. Everyone is affected. People lost their job. The company had to shut down. Businesses are unstable. Family income decreases. Had to limit expenses. The poor become poorer. M40 turns to B40.

And what happened to the fresh graduate? Competing with experienced people who lost their job because of Covid-19 isn’t what fresh graduates expect right after graduation.

In this challenging world, freshy prepare themselves with five skills but then, Mr. C makes it tougher. They have to fight with experienced people with so many skills and knowledge. Now, from five, they have to keep upgrading themselves with double, triple skills to win the battle.

We just a potato isn’t? How can potato fight with watermelon? Bigger, nice colour, juicy and sweet. And what potato can offer? It has to be cook first before people can taste how delicious it is.

Recently, I watch a live in Twitter. It is a program under IIUM and the guest is Tuan Norizan who founded skorlah.online, a platform for online self-development to enhance skills and employability that targeting Malaysian graduates. He, who famously known as Tuan Nobisha said, we, a fresh graduate should make ourselves visible. Let our potential employer know that we are their soon to be an employee.

He also mentions that our resume should not look like history. Full with where we go, where we come, how good the place we went. It should be like marketing. Market ourselves so that people acknowledge our values.

Think like how a businessman thinks. They surely won’t just wait for a customer to come and ask,
“Do you sell this product?” They are the ones who will make a move. They need to tell people what they are selling. The same goes for job hunting. We should let people know that we are actively looking for a job. Be active. Involve in a discussion. Be vocal. However, do not forget to mind your manners.

But, worry not. The economy is recovering. At least, here, in Malaysia. It will heal. Let’s hope and pray that we will not face the second wave. The future is there for us.

So, whatever it is, please;
Do. Not. Lose. Hope.

There’s a light at the end of the road. Keep walking. Keep moving. Sooner or later, this hard time will pass.